THE HEART OF A CHILD
Above all else guard your heart for it is the well spring of
life. What a child says is a reflection of what is in their hearts.
You think you have corrected when you have changed unacceptable behavior to behavior that you sanction and appreciate. What is the problem? You ask. The problem is this; your child’s needs are far more profound than his aberrant behavior. His or her behavior doesn’t just spring forth uncaused. His behavior the things he or she says and does reflects his heart. You must be concerned with the attitudes of the heart that drive his behavior. We should stop demanding changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.
Heart attitudes direct behavior. This is always true. All behavior is linked to attitudes of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart. This makes the heart the issue not just the behavior. It focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior. The heart is the well spring of life and therefore we should be concerned with shepherding the heart.
Let us purpose to always engage our children and not just reprove them, help them gain clear focus of the ways they are trying to slake their souls thirst with that which cannot satisfy.
The person your children become is a product of two things. His or her life experiences and how they interact with that experience. The family values are important as well in sharping a child’s behavior. Do parents get more stressed over a broken glass or a fight between siblings? Are children to be seen and not heard in the home? What are the spoken and unspoken rules of family life? Is life organized around knowing and loving God?
Important to note is the boundaries within the family. Where are the secrets kept and when are they told? Some parents keep secrets from their children. Sometimes Mom and children have secrets from Dad. Sometimes Dad and the children have secrets from mom. Every family has established family boundaries. They may not be spoken or thought through, but they exist.
How are failures handled in the family? Are the children made to feel foolish, mocked? Does the family find amusement at the expense of family members? Parents need to always engage praise and appraisals for the children.
Two mistakes are made in interacting with the shaping influences of life. First it’s the error of assuming that the child is a helpless victim of the circumstances in which he is raised. The second is denial. It’s the mistake of saying the child is unaffected by his early childhood experience.
Parents believe that protecting and sheltering a child well enough, sending him to Christian schools or homeschool if they can provide the best possible childhood experience then their child will turn out okay.
You must be concerned with providing the most stable shaping influences, but you may have to keep in mind that you are not merely molding a passive child but rather an active responder. Children respond according to the Godward focus of his or her life. If you child has embraced the fact that knowing God can enable him to know peace in any circumstance, then he or she will respond constructively to your shaping efforts. If the child doesn’t know God but wants to satisfy his soul’s thirst then they can rebel against your best efforts.
Parents who have unruly and troublesome children usually conclude that the problem is the shaping influences they provided. Children are never determined solely by the shaping influences of life, the child’s heart determines how he responds to your parenting.
One of the justifications of spanking children is that folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. The point of the proverb is that something is wrong in the heart of the child that requires correction, the remedy is not solely changing the structure of the home, but it’s addressing the heart.
It is imperative to be clear whom the child will worship? We are not just here to provide good input, or creating a constructive home atmosphere and positive interaction between a child and parent. Part of a parent’s task is to shepherd the child as a creature who worships pointing him to God. Life gushes forth from the heart.
Therefore the issues that feed into the person your child will become are their Godward orientation and the shaping influences of life.
You think you have corrected when you have changed unacceptable behavior to behavior that you sanction and appreciate. What is the problem? You ask. The problem is this; your child’s needs are far more profound than his aberrant behavior. His or her behavior doesn’t just spring forth uncaused. His behavior the things he or she says and does reflects his heart. You must be concerned with the attitudes of the heart that drive his behavior. We should stop demanding changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.
Heart attitudes direct behavior. This is always true. All behavior is linked to attitudes of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart. This makes the heart the issue not just the behavior. It focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior. The heart is the well spring of life and therefore we should be concerned with shepherding the heart.
Let us purpose to always engage our children and not just reprove them, help them gain clear focus of the ways they are trying to slake their souls thirst with that which cannot satisfy.
The person your children become is a product of two things. His or her life experiences and how they interact with that experience. The family values are important as well in sharping a child’s behavior. Do parents get more stressed over a broken glass or a fight between siblings? Are children to be seen and not heard in the home? What are the spoken and unspoken rules of family life? Is life organized around knowing and loving God?
Important to note is the boundaries within the family. Where are the secrets kept and when are they told? Some parents keep secrets from their children. Sometimes Mom and children have secrets from Dad. Sometimes Dad and the children have secrets from mom. Every family has established family boundaries. They may not be spoken or thought through, but they exist.
How are failures handled in the family? Are the children made to feel foolish, mocked? Does the family find amusement at the expense of family members? Parents need to always engage praise and appraisals for the children.
Two mistakes are made in interacting with the shaping influences of life. First it’s the error of assuming that the child is a helpless victim of the circumstances in which he is raised. The second is denial. It’s the mistake of saying the child is unaffected by his early childhood experience.
Parents believe that protecting and sheltering a child well enough, sending him to Christian schools or homeschool if they can provide the best possible childhood experience then their child will turn out okay.
You must be concerned with providing the most stable shaping influences, but you may have to keep in mind that you are not merely molding a passive child but rather an active responder. Children respond according to the Godward focus of his or her life. If you child has embraced the fact that knowing God can enable him to know peace in any circumstance, then he or she will respond constructively to your shaping efforts. If the child doesn’t know God but wants to satisfy his soul’s thirst then they can rebel against your best efforts.
Parents who have unruly and troublesome children usually conclude that the problem is the shaping influences they provided. Children are never determined solely by the shaping influences of life, the child’s heart determines how he responds to your parenting.
One of the justifications of spanking children is that folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. The point of the proverb is that something is wrong in the heart of the child that requires correction, the remedy is not solely changing the structure of the home, but it’s addressing the heart.
It is imperative to be clear whom the child will worship? We are not just here to provide good input, or creating a constructive home atmosphere and positive interaction between a child and parent. Part of a parent’s task is to shepherd the child as a creature who worships pointing him to God. Life gushes forth from the heart.
Therefore the issues that feed into the person your child will become are their Godward orientation and the shaping influences of life.
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